How To Get What You Want!

Time to take notes! Expert tips on how you can achieve your goals once and for all

By SC Chua for Yahoo! Southeast Asia

Tip #1: Have a Plan A, B, and C
It is one thing to have goals and another to actually make sure they come true. The one thing to remember? Have a plan on how you want to achieve them. But it is not enough to just have one plan, says Gayle Tzemach Lemmon, the author of The Dressmaker of Khair Khana: Five Sisters, One Remarkable Family, and the Woman Who Risked Everything to Keep Them Safe as well as a contributing editor-at-large for Newsweek and The Daily Beast. "You can't say I'm going to 'follow my passion' unless you can also make sure the rent gets paid," she says. "I learned this because my mum and aunt were single mums who worked more than one job to make rent."
So whether you are planning to quit your job to start something on your own or even to lose 10 pounds by end of the year, make sure you've planned out all that you need to do so that you stay focused and are in line with your goals.
Also, don't lose perspective of things and give up when the going gets tough, advises Lemmon. "My mother used to say, 'On a scale of major world tragedies, yours isn't even a three'. My aunt would say, 'After the dance [when you've achieved your goal], they can't take it away from you. And my grandma always encouraged me to take big leaps and not dwell on the downside. She reminded me, 'McDonald's is always hiring."

Tip #2: Keep a lid on it
You heard us right—don't blab to the whole world what you set out to get. Instead, keep it a secret. It's common to want to tell everyone when you've set a new goal for yourself, whether it is writing a book or even making a move on your crush. Besides, the more people you tell, the more likely you are to follow through, right? Not according to a new research. A study by the New York University found that telling everyone about your goal can give you a false sense of accomplishment, which means you are not as likely to actually go after it if you didn't blab.
Also, by keeping your goals a secret, you will avoid the risk of letting other people's opinions get in your way. Says Susan B. Wilson, life coach and founder of Get Over It, Move On, "What stops a lot of people from doing the things they dream of is other people. If you tell someone you want to apply to a graduate program, they may go on about how terrible the campus is… and you may start to believe them when you really should be trusting your own gut."

Tip #3: Give failure a new definition
Another roadblock to getting what you want? Being afraid of failure. However, without failing, you'd probably never learn the things you need to know to achieve your dreams. So instead of letting this fear stop you from moving forward, look at failure in a positive light. Redefine it as something you need to go through in order to succeed. Always remind yourself that when one door closes, another one opens.
Take your advice from the queen of living life to the fullest, Oprah Winfrey. "Do the one thing you think you cannot do," says the mogul. "Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it. One of life's greatest risks is never daring to risk."
[Read: How to face your fears]

Tip #4: Power of affirmation
This concept has been shoved at us again and again, especially with Rhonda Byrne's The Secret. Here's the thing—the concept is nothing new. Affirmations have always been a great way to put your mind to focus and at the same time provide you inspiration and comfort. Think of it as a mantra to your life, says Iyanla Vanzant, author of Tapping the Power Within: A Path to Self-Empowerment for Women.
She explains, "Finding a meaningful mantra is one of the best ways to show yourself some support. It's a tool that can instantly connect you to your best self. Choose a word, a phrase or even a lyric from a song that suggests what you want in life. It could be something like 'I choose love' or even just a word, like peace. Allow the phrase or word to run through your mind, and practice saying it when you wake up or before you go to bed at night. Eventually, it will become automatic and will always be there for you when you need it."

Tip #5: Make sure you want it bad!
It is one thing to make affirmations, but what you should also ask yourself is how bad you want it! Whether it that promotion or learning how to bake a cake from scratch, you need to really want it for it to happen.
Says psychiatrist Tracy Latz who is also the co-author of Shift: 12 Keys to Shift Your Life, "It needs to be a want, not a should. Get in touch with your deepest self and discover what it is that you want with all your heart. What matters is that you really desire it. You don't have to believe that your affirmation is true right now, but you have to believe in the possibility of getting what you want."

Tip #6: Just ask for it!
Sounds simple right? So why is it so hard for us to just ask for what we think we deserve? Call it fear or anxiety of the unknown, but whatever the reason is, not asking for things is a sure-fire way of not getting it.
So make a change this time around. Be confident and ask for what you want—whether it is a salary increase or even for someone's phone number.
Says Andrea Buchanan, author of Note to Self: 30 Women on Hardship, Humiliation, Heartbreak and Overcoming it All, "As with most things in life, the more you do something, the easier it becomes. So start small and build up to the Big Ask. When my family and I go to a restaurant and don't like our table, I'm the one who asks to move. I ask for directions and for advice from strangers. I even ask to use the discount-club card of the person standing next to me in line at the grocery store if I've forgotten mine. The minute you're afraid to ask for something is when you should do it. It also helps to take a few deep breaths and imagine the worst possible outcome. Usually, it's simply getting a no, which is not exactly life threatening."